"You have made us for yourself and our heart is restless until it rests in you." So says Augustine in his Confessions. This restlessness is evident in a lot of contemporary society, most notably in the area of sexual conduct. I found it a bit surprising at first that sex is a major topic in the Confessions, considered to be a spiritual classic. All this proves, I guess, is that sex is a spiritual matter. Some theologians have noted that sexual yearning is a sign or symbol of our desire for something more than our insular selves, a desire to join in some kind of physico-spiritual bond that transcends simple physical pleasure. Concupiscence is not simply a concern of the body but also of the soul. Augustine pulls no punches in describing his struggle with his sexual desire. After his conversion to Christianity, his view of sex was a favourable one, namely that sex provides for the survival of the human race through procreation and that this procreative impulse is a gift of the creator.
There are in my view four options regarding sex (there are others I’m sure, but my imagination is a bit limited). I) Unbridled sex anytime with anybody for any reason and damn the consequences ii) Sex within a monogamous, non-marriage relationship, with changes in partners at various times iii) Sex within a faithful, marriage relationship iv) chastity. The fourth option can be seem to be a difficult one. Whether it is a struggle may depend on what passes through one’s mind at any given time. But there is a peculiar phenomenon that occurs that can take the edge off some difficulty. Augustine also refers to nocturnal emissions in Book X. This seems to be the body’s method of housecleaning, just as dreams may be the mind’s method of mental housecleaning. That fact that erotic dreams and emissions invariably occur together may also point to the physico-spiritual nature of sex (assuming the mind is a component of the soul and not merely the byproduct of the brain, in which case mental and spiritual phenomena can be reduced to merely physical processes. I think though, that there are good reasons for believing in the existence of the soul.)
There are two things that all people have in common: sex and time. Every person has a sex (not has sex, but has a sex), either male or female. Every person exists in time. What is time? Good question. Augustine’s view was rather prescient given the fact that he didn’t have the benefits of modern physics. Time is a created entity (ie. it had a beginning. This was confirmed by Stephen Hawking and Roger Penrose about 35 years ago) and God sees all of time as an eternal present. This brings to mind the debate among philosophers about what is God’s relationship to time. Is He timelessly eternal or temporally eternal? Is He wholly outside of time or does He exist within time? These sorts of discussions can get rather abstruse, what with all the talk about the correctness of the A-theory or the B-theory of time, etc. and I’m not really smart enough to evaluate their merits, but reading various philosophers’ views on the matter is an interesting mental exercise (and trust me, my mind needs the exercise. Sometimes I think my mental flabbiness is an irreversible trait.)
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Lame Poem 1
Questions and answers reside together on a
bubble of ignorance and knowledge. A sliding scale
of tacit sureness invades every mind then leaves a
coal-coloured mark. Love comes and goes. The grass seems
to whistle in the strong wind. The breath of memories
glistens in the cold enclaves of longing.
A sure way to die is to remember. The mists of
times past, angry words, hateful thoughts. If to hate is to murder
then I deserve the death penalty. The odious demeanour
penetrates and occupies my
soul as emperor of all. A revolution must take
place. The tyrant must be overthrown.
My thirst must be slaked. But rain cannot penetrate
the skin. Cut me quickly for my blood boils and must
release its steam. Don’t shoot until the visual whites
appear. I’ve not yet begun my flight, my journey to
oblivion. I’m waiting for a reprieve. Body pummeled
hard. Mind saunters unmolested. Spirit quakes, a trembling
of terror unspoken. The world is gained but the earth
will eventually come to an end.
bubble of ignorance and knowledge. A sliding scale
of tacit sureness invades every mind then leaves a
coal-coloured mark. Love comes and goes. The grass seems
to whistle in the strong wind. The breath of memories
glistens in the cold enclaves of longing.
A sure way to die is to remember. The mists of
times past, angry words, hateful thoughts. If to hate is to murder
then I deserve the death penalty. The odious demeanour
penetrates and occupies my
soul as emperor of all. A revolution must take
place. The tyrant must be overthrown.
My thirst must be slaked. But rain cannot penetrate
the skin. Cut me quickly for my blood boils and must
release its steam. Don’t shoot until the visual whites
appear. I’ve not yet begun my flight, my journey to
oblivion. I’m waiting for a reprieve. Body pummeled
hard. Mind saunters unmolested. Spirit quakes, a trembling
of terror unspoken. The world is gained but the earth
will eventually come to an end.
Conversation
So you see a woman you like. She’s pretty, seems nice. Many a young fellow (or old for that matter) have fallen (hard) for a face and body, only to find out later that the person behind the figure was not for him. (The same probably applies to women who may fall head over heels for a good looking guy. I guess there’s no danger of this happening in my case. The only reason a woman would fall head over heels because of me would be because she was trying to get away from me and tripped). The adage of getting to know the person and not just the body is a good one, I think.
Conversations over a period of days and weeks (months even) could help solve a lot of future relationship problems. If no relationship develops, these conversations would result in no relationship problems at all since there would be no relationship to which problems could adhere. If the relationship goes forward, you can get a feel for what kind of person she is and act/speak/emote appropriately. How often has a guy assumed something about a woman that could have been made clear by a good conversation, only to have it surprise him later (and often in a negative way)?
People always try to put their best face/foot forward. Foolish is the lad who falls for the façade rather than the foundation. What is the best foundation? A kind heart. An intelligent mind. Good character. From these qualities spring the words that you want to listen to, the thoughts you want to interact with. From these come the continuing desire to encourage the relationship. You just have to be able to tell her your thoughts, to have her agree, disagree, correct, encourage. The beauty of her words will reflect the beauty of her soul. The beautiful soul is the foundation of the house of relationship that you want to build. What will the future hold? Perhaps she will become one of your closest friends and confidants. Perhaps she will even become your wife. Perhaps she may move away to a distant city and leave you lonely and disappointed. But when the loneliness comes, the words will be there for you to remember, and you’ll feel well again. Even then the bonds of communication are not severed. Letters, e-mails, even phone calls can rekindle that flame of desire, not for the body but for the mind; not for the flesh but the spirit. One day the two may become one flesh, but until then, the two minds can become one. This is reward enough.
Conversations over a period of days and weeks (months even) could help solve a lot of future relationship problems. If no relationship develops, these conversations would result in no relationship problems at all since there would be no relationship to which problems could adhere. If the relationship goes forward, you can get a feel for what kind of person she is and act/speak/emote appropriately. How often has a guy assumed something about a woman that could have been made clear by a good conversation, only to have it surprise him later (and often in a negative way)?
People always try to put their best face/foot forward. Foolish is the lad who falls for the façade rather than the foundation. What is the best foundation? A kind heart. An intelligent mind. Good character. From these qualities spring the words that you want to listen to, the thoughts you want to interact with. From these come the continuing desire to encourage the relationship. You just have to be able to tell her your thoughts, to have her agree, disagree, correct, encourage. The beauty of her words will reflect the beauty of her soul. The beautiful soul is the foundation of the house of relationship that you want to build. What will the future hold? Perhaps she will become one of your closest friends and confidants. Perhaps she will even become your wife. Perhaps she may move away to a distant city and leave you lonely and disappointed. But when the loneliness comes, the words will be there for you to remember, and you’ll feel well again. Even then the bonds of communication are not severed. Letters, e-mails, even phone calls can rekindle that flame of desire, not for the body but for the mind; not for the flesh but the spirit. One day the two may become one flesh, but until then, the two minds can become one. This is reward enough.
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